3.6.06

So much for "daily reflections." It's been almost a month. I hate that when I come home it's all I can do to just stay awake, let alone write in a journal! It is much easier to do it this way though. I am glad for that. Yesterday I had the absolute pleasure of being asked by Steve to play piano on his upcoming CD. I'll be playing with many of the finest studio musicians in the country in November in Minneapolis. It seems as though I have been waiting forever for the opportunity for something like this. Everytime Steve would say something to me about how I was progressing as a piano player or an accompanist I just thought that I wouldn't be "there" until I was able to play on one of his recordings. And now I guess I am "there?" Wherever that is. It is so exciting but scary at the same time. What if I dissapoint him? What if I just can't get it right? I suppose between now and then it would be a good idea to really look at my weaknesses and work on them so that doesn't happen.
Contemplating the TLC ministry has also been heavy on my mind. I would love to take an active role at the church, but can I really handle this? So many of the "dreams" I've had have been realized lately and I'm not really sure how to handle it. It's wonderful to have accomplished a goal, but where to go now? I ran into this same dilema when I saw Nathan over the holiday break. For ever it was my goal or dream to see him and show him that I was not the basket case that I thought he thought I was. Once that happens, what do you do? When something that has been on your mind and in your wants for so long happens, what an odd feeling it is. It's almost like realizing your best dream and having it taken away all at once. Where do you go from there? What is the next step?
I guess trying to figure out where I'm going is the main plan. I know where I am right now and all of the things that I want to be doing at the moment, but do I really know where I want to end up? I spend so much time doing so many little things, but I guess it helps me from getting burned out in one area. Whenever things get too out of control in one activity I always have something else to take my mind off of it. I picked up the "100 Simple Secrets of Successful People" today and I think that I may have to live by this simple mantra: "Right now I try to keep my focus on doing the best work that I can, and I know that I'll get where I'm going when I get there."