Stress Relief??

Stress Relief?
So...school is back in session, those of us that are "slacker" teachers ("must be nice to have the summer off!") are back to work, and life is back in full swing. As I sit and try to organize my never-ending schedule, I assume that everyone else is as well. Time to plan for the upcoming months, figuring in trips and visits with out-of-town friends, meetings, classes, rehearsals, not to mention exercise and just plain time to "hang out." It took me almost 35 minutes to plan 2 days a week with my friend Jay to train for the Turkey Trot, and can you believe that between the two of us and our hectic schedules, we still haven't been able to complete it?

My friend Jordan sent me a message today telling me all about his life, how he plans on opening a new business every year for the next 5 years (wow!) and talking about his fiancee and her children. Then came his reason for writing: Jordan wrote to ask me how I manage my stress. When it all gets to be too much, what do I do? I thought of all the normal answers; denial (of course), exercising, playing the piano, listening to calming music in the car, or running around in circles in the backyard like I did when I was little. It occurred to me that I don't really know the "best" way to deal with stress.


The question presents itself...Is there one absolute remedy, or does everyone have to figure out there own way to get through it???

8.7.06

I just love this:

I used to be afraid of so many things. That I’d never grow up, that I’d be trapped in the same place for all eternity. That my dreams would forever be shy of my reach. It’s true what they say: time plays tricks on you. One day you’re dreaming, the next your dream has become your reality. And now that this scared little girl no longer follows me wherever I go, I miss her – I do. Cause there are things I want to tell her: to relax, to lighten up, that it is all going to be ok. I want her to know that meeting people who like you, who understand you, who actually accept you for who you are will become an increasingly rare occurrence. Jen, Jack, Audrey, Andie, Pacey and Dawson; these people who contributed to who I am, they are with me wherever I go. And, as history gets re-written in small ways with each passing day, my love for them only grows. Because the truth is, it was the best of times. Mistakes were made, hearts were broken, harsh lessons learned, but all of that has receded into fond memories now. How does it happen? Why are we so quick to forget the bad and romanticize the good? Maybe it’s because we need to believe that the time we spent together actually meant something. That we were there for each other in a time in our lives that defined us all, a time in our lives we will never forget. I can’t swear this is exactly how it happened, but this IS how it felt.

3.6.06

So much for "daily reflections." It's been almost a month. I hate that when I come home it's all I can do to just stay awake, let alone write in a journal! It is much easier to do it this way though. I am glad for that. Yesterday I had the absolute pleasure of being asked by Steve to play piano on his upcoming CD. I'll be playing with many of the finest studio musicians in the country in November in Minneapolis. It seems as though I have been waiting forever for the opportunity for something like this. Everytime Steve would say something to me about how I was progressing as a piano player or an accompanist I just thought that I wouldn't be "there" until I was able to play on one of his recordings. And now I guess I am "there?" Wherever that is. It is so exciting but scary at the same time. What if I dissapoint him? What if I just can't get it right? I suppose between now and then it would be a good idea to really look at my weaknesses and work on them so that doesn't happen.
Contemplating the TLC ministry has also been heavy on my mind. I would love to take an active role at the church, but can I really handle this? So many of the "dreams" I've had have been realized lately and I'm not really sure how to handle it. It's wonderful to have accomplished a goal, but where to go now? I ran into this same dilema when I saw Nathan over the holiday break. For ever it was my goal or dream to see him and show him that I was not the basket case that I thought he thought I was. Once that happens, what do you do? When something that has been on your mind and in your wants for so long happens, what an odd feeling it is. It's almost like realizing your best dream and having it taken away all at once. Where do you go from there? What is the next step?
I guess trying to figure out where I'm going is the main plan. I know where I am right now and all of the things that I want to be doing at the moment, but do I really know where I want to end up? I spend so much time doing so many little things, but I guess it helps me from getting burned out in one area. Whenever things get too out of control in one activity I always have something else to take my mind off of it. I picked up the "100 Simple Secrets of Successful People" today and I think that I may have to live by this simple mantra: "Right now I try to keep my focus on doing the best work that I can, and I know that I'll get where I'm going when I get there."

2.12.06

As I sit and reflect on my day I can't help but figure out why I am so sad all of the time. Last night we were able to go out with so many of our good friends and have a BLAST. I did not have mass this morning so it was a nice day off. Today we were able to do a whole lot of nothing until I had to get to rehearsal. At about 12:30, Ryan asked me to go out and get us lunch to which I told him I wasn't interested and that if he wanted something he could go and get it. It is my only day off for a while and I thought that I deserved to just relax this morning. He wouldn't let it go so I went to Subway and got us lunch. That upset me. I don't know why he doesn't understand that my days off are few and far between. His days off are actual days off. Anyway, it was just something that really bugged me.

I really enjoy my time alone. Whether it is in the car or sleeping, I love it. However, the more I think the more I realize things about myself that maybe were better off undiscovered. Last weekend I realized that it's not actually my fear of being alone as much as a fear of being stuck - or settling. I also realized that my biggest fear is beign replaced. The thought of someone else doing what I do better than I do it and being asked to continue instead of me just terrifies me. I try to keep telling myself that I am a good teacher, a good student, a good wife, etc., but it's just not helping. It seems that the only times I feel better are when I'm talking to Nathan or just finish reading an e-mail from him. I think that my ability to "let things go" is becoming more and more difficult. I've always had a hard time letting him go, but it's just getting worse. It becomes worse around those times when it is his birthday or our anniversary. I have to figure out what it is going to take to make myself happy. I don't know what it is going to take, but I know that I need to figure it out.